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Wednesday, October 31, 2001

"Nostalgia is a weapon"

I took a little inadvertant trip down memory lane tonight. I was kind of curious to look at some old photos, because I was really missing New York (despite the Yankees), and I found other stuff that made me a little sickly sappy.

But what was more jarring was finding some journal pages I hadn't looked at in months.

I know it's not surprising to learn that I keep such a thing, since I can't imagine, really, that anyone tells everyone else everything, for fear of looking crazy or just out of fear of being that open. But it stunned me, really, to read what I had written back in early June. And it made me think about everything that's happened since. Where I was then, where I am now.

I felt foolish, but in a good way. It's like blinders came off. And I started to see that I've been setting myself up for self-defeat. Placing expectations on someone else that really aren't fair, and cheating myself out of an opportunity to learn from past mistakes.

I'm beginning to see why Taoism is about acknowledging and allowing oneself to follow "The Way".

Can I do that? Who knows? I'm probably not so sage, nor nearly so wise. But I can definitely take pressure off myself and her, and just let things be what they will. And maybe become a better person for the experience.

Or I could just be talking out my ass.

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:57 PM

Yeah, I am going to go on about him again

How can anyone not appreciate Coupland, when he coins a term like "knee-jerk irony: The tendency to make flippant ironic comments as a reflexive matter of course in everyday conversation"? (link courtesy of Lester)

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:46 PM

Yeah, I made a few changes

I was bored, but I lack the web design skills to do more than superficial changes. Plus, I like the template. Thanks again, Meredith.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:49 PM

Getcher "Hutch Owen" fix

Top Shelf has a new "DotComics" feature going. You can find "Aristotle" (a new "Hutch Owen" story by Tom Hart) there.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:18 PM

A little more inflammatory posting

"Get Your War On" indeed.

posted by Skattieboy @ 6:30 PM

Welcome to the monkey house

Shucks. Civil liberties? What civil liberties?

posted by Skattieboy @ 4:44 PM

So it seems doomed to be a chilly Halloween

I can't resist the feeling that I should go out and do something, even though I have no idea what parties are out there to be crashed, no costume, I'm kind of broke (until tomorrow, anyway), and I'm recovering from being sick and should really just stay in, take care of myself, and get some more rest. But I'm a bad patient.

*sigh*

posted by Skattieboy @ 4:19 PM

A little Halloween controversy

Do we know the real author of "Frankenstein"?

posted by Skattieboy @ 4:15 PM

Another in a long line of Coupland quotes

Indulge me, okay?

"You see, when you're middle class, you have to live with the fact that history will ignore you. You have to live with the fact that history can never champion your causes and that history will never feel sorry for you. It is the price that is paid for day-to-day comfort and silence. And because of this price, all happinesses are sterile; all sadnesses go unpitied", "Generation X" (p. 147).

posted by Skattieboy @ 4:11 PM

Oh, and since I'm feeling like I should be thorough

She got me to try something odd from the whole foods store: tuna with dried cranberries and lemon, on slightly sweet multi-grain bread. It was better than it sounds.

And I'd forgotten how much I like "Stranger than Paradise" (and Jim Jarmusch, in general).

Someone sweet is fixing something stupid I did with my template, by the way.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:25 AM

A little update on my personal life (for the voyeurs)

So she did go home last night, to catch up on sleep, shower, and try to work on her stuff. It was good, because neither of us would have done a thing if she'd stayed. And I managed to get the draft of that report done (I wasn't thrilled with it, but it's usually the draft that's the hardest part, and the revising is rather easy), watched "Buffy" (which I liked for a change, even if it was a "Dawn" episode. I think it was the back story that's developing that kept me interested). And I turned in at a reasonable hour, so I can hopefully get more rest tonight and get feeling better.

Yes, I think there is a very real sense that we both like each other, but there's no pressure to force things. It's really been nice to hang out, talk, get to know each other... That sort of thing. I think we both know the timing isn't quite right. So it feels relaxed. Lord knows we could both use that.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:23 AM

Happy Halloween!

I know it's kinda sad, but I really have no plans for the evening, other than staying in and watching "Enterprise", being warm in blankies and maybe reading up in classes (or trying to finish "Generation X". I really need to catch up on my rest so I'll keep getting better and can play some this weekend.

I really doubt kids will visit my basement, so I have no candy. If not, I'll just scare them away.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:17 AM
Tuesday, October 30, 2001

It's been a pretty good day

We're both dopey from lack of sleep and she's watching "Stranger than Paradise" as I type this.

I have to finish my neuropsych assessment report tonight, I'm afraid, and she has tons of transcripts to code and papers to grade. I don't think either of us is too eager to get started.

Oh, and I think I actually got the material in Neural Nets today.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:44 PM

Don't these people know I have a hard time with change?

So Susan moved, too. Go check out the new locale and the posh accommodations. But make sure to tell her that the cow quotient isn't high enough.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:26 AM

So, yeah

I really want to see "Waking Life" this weekend. 'Zat okay with you, Jeffro?


posted by Skattieboy @ 9:15 AM

So I'm kind of out of it

She called me around 7 last night to ask if we could try doing homework together again, and (of course) I said yes. I was already working on the homework and was about halfway through it. And by the time she got over here, I was down to the last two problems.

And I finished them early, while she read and we talked and chuckled, and shivered in my cold, cold basement.

And I turned in around 11, while she was still working away, asking me questions occasionally while I was falling asleep.

And then I woke her up early so she could work and I could surf, and we've been drinking coffee and eating this good bread she bought at the health food place, with muesli and walnuts and raisins in it.

And you really don't care, do you?

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:12 AM

What a clever, clever Bastard

Bryan gave himself a makeover. Go see for yourself at Spy Hamlet, and try to resist the temptation to guffaw, as I did.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:07 AM
Monday, October 29, 2001

Okay, so I could have told me THAT

I had a low white blood cell count, which makes them think it's a virus. So I got a shot of gammaglobulin to boost my immune system, a breathing treatment (because my breathing sounded tight to them), and orders to get bed rest and lots of fluids.

Somehow, I don't think I'm going to be able to use that as an excuse to get out of my homework and other assignments.

posted by Skattieboy @ 2:24 PM

Okay, you gotta read this

If the campy photo of Snoop Dogg doesn't get you, then one of the user reviews surely will: Oo! "Bones"! SCARY!!!!!!

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:22 AM

So I just couldn't get up this morning

I'm missing out on Stats as I type this, but it's on "Inferences about proportions", anyway, which isn't exactly neurosurgery, y'know?

And it wasn't really laziness, but that my body was telling me I really needed that extra hour or so of just relaxing in a warm bed. Honestly, it was my body, and not my mind, and I feel much better for it.

I can't decide if I should try to shower up and catch the developmental lunch, though, since there will be a couple folks talking about autism. I need to head over to the department sometime today to run the Neural Net simulations again, anyway.

I can't tell if the wart is almost gone or not. I'm alomst out of the patches, and the little white bump is not only smaller, but looks different. I guess I could stop dosing and see if it comes back.

Jeffro will be here for the weekend, to check out Built to Spill, and probably report back to 'Rene about this new girl.

And I promise I'll stop acting like a smitten teenager any day now. Just be patient with me.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:33 AM

Okay, so while I'm waiting for my call

From student health, telling me it's a virus and I should just rest and stay warm (and thanks for the advice, which I'm certain I couldn't have just deduced for myself, without having you drain me of blood and swab my nose and throat), I found this rather comforting:

Cough, aches probably not anthrax


Jim Erickson

October 29, 2001 - If it coughs and aches and sneezes like the flu, it's probably the flu.

But in coming weeks, frightened patients will drag themselves into doctor's offices fearing the worst: anthrax. They will likely try to pressure physicians to prescribe antibiotics such as Cipro, said Dr. Michael Hunt of Swedish Medical Center.

Doctors should resist the arm-twisting and inform patients that, "the chances that anyone is going to be exposed to anthrax here are infinitesimally small," Hunt said Friday.

Physicians should also encourage their patients to get flu shots early so they don't develop symptoms that resemble the first stages of anthrax.

"We should be treating flu as flu and not treating flu as anthrax or treating hysteria as anthrax," Hunt said.

That was a point Hunt and other speakers tried to convey last week during a four-hour presentation about chemical and biological weapons at Swedish.

The lecture was one of several recent Denver-area sessions designed to bring front-line health workers up to speed on anthrax and other bioweapons.

Workers at hospitals across the city participated in a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention satellite teleconference about anthrax last week.

The state Health Department and the Colorado Health and Hospital Association are planning a bioterrorism educational program for health professionals. The Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations has scheduled a satellite broadcast next month.

"Everyone's jumping on the bandwagon, which is good. It's a very constructive response," said Dr. Stephen Cantrill, associate director for emergency medicine at Denver Health Medical Center.

Denver Health began training sessions on chemical and biological weapons in 1997, Cantrill said. About 200 people have been trained, including all the frontline medical workers, he said.

The CDC issued specific guidelines for treating anthrax, providing doctors with a list of antibiotics -- besides Cipro -- that can combat the deadly bacterium. The Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment faxed four pages of information on the various forms of anthrax last week to help physicians educate themselves.

The state has been providing regional bioterrorism workshops for two years, with funding from a CDC grant, said Dr. Lisa Miller, the state's acting chief medical officer.

"We do want physicians to be alert, but we also know it's not appropriate or helpful for them to do nasal swabs on everyone who comes in with cold or flu symptoms," Miller said.

The state Health Department has a telephone hot line for the public with taped information about anthrax. The number is (303) 692-2799. Additional bioterrorism information is available on the department's Web site: www.cdphe.state.co.us.

Kaiser Permanente members can now "press 3" to hear recorded bioterrorism information when they call the health care organization.

When bioterrorism advisories are issued by federal or state health officials, the information is sent to all Denver Health physicians -- as well as the Denver police and fire departments -- by e-mail, Cantrill said. With a grant from the CDC, Denver Health is also developing a Web site for physicians and health care workers on bioterrorism agents.

"It's important not to overreact when someone shows up and says, 'Gee, I think I have anthrax,' " Cantrill said.

"There have been no reported cases of anthrax in Colorado, and we're not going to start handing out Cipro to everyone who walks in the emergency room."

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:26 AM
Sunday, October 28, 2001

So I'm feeling a bit less anxious

I just had a bit of a panic attack, really. But it's better now. I got some work done (not nearly enough, but I'm not gonna kick myself) and I feel ever so much more sane.

One of my roomies actually got the hint that I'm sick and I'm not gonna be the only one mowing the lawn and got half of it done. I was impressed. And happy. Even if the front yard still looks like a friggin' jungle.

And I talked to her on the phone for a while. An hour and a half, actually. And that felt better. I don't know why. It's not like anything changed, but there was just something about the gesture.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:06 PM

Am I an ogre?

Really?

I keep hearing and reading everywhere that everyone is rooting for the Yankees in the World Series. That you should and you have to. But I'm not. I really don't see why I should.

posted by Skattieboy @ 1:16 PM

Yes, I AM procrastinating

Wanna make something of it?

I actually got home from breakfast not too long ago, and just can't focus quite yet. For one thing, I just have to have the TV on. I know I shouldn't. I know it will distract me. But it's on.

Breakfast was an experience. We had to leave our name at the door, since it was pretty crowded, and then wandered for a little while, fortuitously returning as our table came open. Sadly, that was about the extent of the fortune, as we not only got a subpar meal (John wanted to try a new place he'd heard about), but the waiter forgot to hang our ticket, so we were waiting a full 40 minutes before the food started being prepared.

Okay. I'm going to get started now. I promise.

posted by Skattieboy @ 1:08 PM

It's gray outside

Foreboding?

What's the difference between "gray" and "grey", anyway?

I can be a really judgmental bastard. I think one of my roomies cheated on her boyfriend last night, and it really irritates me. I thought better of her than that, and her boyfriend is pretty cool. Honestly.

I think I'm going to go to breakfast with John, but then coming back here to try to get some work done on my homework and that report. I just don't feel like I can or should procrastinate, and my anxiety around this crap is too high to allow me to go watch the football games and enjoy them.

And I know she's going to call me to hang out and study together, and (if we do) nothing will get done.


posted by Skattieboy @ 9:50 AM

Yes, I'm a lovesick fool

Honestly, I know better. I'm feeling miserable, but it's okay. I appreciate the sympathy, really.

In a way, it's kind of good. Forcing me to re-evaluate my priorities and look at myself very closely. I'm seeing some things I haven't dealt with that I need to. I'm discovering that my boundaries aren't what they should be (weak in some places and too guarded in others). And I'm finding out how impatient I am.

Patience. I need it. If anything is going to develop, it will take time and effort and patience. And I'm so very bad at the latter.

Don't mind me. I know I'm being whiny and annoying.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:45 AM

Keith has a new home

It's here. Go say hello.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:39 AM
Saturday, October 27, 2001

Gawd

Today sucked. Being with her all day, hanging out, enjoying it, but feeling tortured.

I got none of my homework done, and it's gonna take forever to finish. And I need to get that damned report draft done. And she wants to meet up again tomorrow, and I know I'll say yes, and we won't get anything done again.

And nothing will be resolved. And nothing will happen, because it can't.

Poop.

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:29 PM

A little "Simpsons" wisdom

TV announcer: Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:14 AM

Yes, Saturday morning cartoons

Like "The Ripping Friends". Don't laugh.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:11 AM

I'm up. I am.

I don't know how. One beer (Guinness, in the cool new bottles) plus two Tylenol Flu tablets plus a well-warmed electric blanket, and I really passed out. I'm still a bit woozy, too. But at least I'm not chilled, as I was yesterday.

I was facing a pretty dull evening, until John actually called me back. Well, it actually wouldn't have been too bad, just staying warm and resting up, watching "Red Beard". But, after spenind gmost of the day in or on bed, I just wasn't in the mood to stay in. So we headed up to Boulder for the second Friday night in a row (and John wasn't driving nearly so recklessly), listening to indie and meth rock, just so he could pick up a concert ticket for next week and avoid the online and/or phone ticket fees. It actually turned into an amusing escape, as the two illin' (he's sick, too) gents walked about, stopping in a few record stores and making fun of the Boulderites. I had kind of forgotten that I enjoy hanging out with John and not drinking, but being (instead) dorky and (to us) clever. We stopped at Barts again, but not nearly as long this time, but it was long enough for me to remind myself again how bad their cd selection is, especially since we stopped off at Twist & Shout (a good music store) after.

So I'm waiting for new girl to call me so we can get together to study, and (amusingly enough) I got this astrological forecast: Sometimes you have to sacrifice some activities in favor of others, Scott. It's a fundamental principal of business: companies must get out of unprofitable markets so they can reinvest themselves in more lucrative areas. We are all capable of making mistakes, and it is not uncommon for people to set off in one direction, only to realize after a while that they are going entirely the wrong way. There's no need to make a big deal if this happens to you.

I think I'm going to drink another pot of coffee and watch some cartoons now.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:27 AM
Friday, October 26, 2001

I think

I'd like to go see Stereolab at the Ogden Sunday night. Maybe I'll see if she wants to go.

posted by Skattieboy @ 12:43 PM

Oh, by the way, Mr. CUDenver.edu

I added you to my Links.

posted by Skattieboy @ 12:42 PM

Heaping spoonfuls of boredom

Yeah, I know that technically, that should read "spoons full". I was an English major once upon a time, after all.

I started my laundry, because my towels smelled funky (odd since I have two of them and I washed them only 5 days ago, I think), read some of "Generation X", and then took a nap. I had the oddest dream... I pictured myself very caterpillar-like, in that I was lying down to rest and cocoon, and that I'd awaken a butterfly. I think it was the sickness speaking, or my fears about this stupid lingering illness. When I rose, I noticed a slight fever again, and a pounding headache.

And I was craving vinegary taste, not so much out of hunger, but in a weird craving way. If I had any packets of Taco Bell hot sauce around, I'd probably be slurping them down.

posted by Skattieboy @ 12:33 PM

Some more incisive observations

So as I was walking over to student health, breathing out misty air, this guy waiting for the bus yakked on the sidewalk, setting a not-too-pleasant tone for the morning.

Once in the clinic, I was thinking as the phlebotomist was drawing my blood, realizing that I've become very anxious about needle pokes, shots, and having my blood drawn. Almost wussily so. And I think it dates back to when I used to work with developmentally disabled kids, and having to take them in to get their blood drawn on a semi-regular basis. I always felt so bad for them that I think I've had some kind of bizarre transference reaction. I never used to be this bad.

I'm staring at the Kleenex box I mutilated with the pocket knife Tom gave me, just because I was fascinated to try out the sharpness of the blade on something.

And I'm pondering going back to bed, because I'm chilled, I'm tired, and I can't really think of anything that's going to make me feel better.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:47 AM

No answers yet

This trip to the doctor was just as futile (even though I wind up paying nothing out of pocket), in that they drew blood, but I won't know the results until Monday. And I was told (again) it's probably not mono, but that they have no clue, really.

All I was told was to just get some rest and drink lots of fluids.

Great. I'm frustrated. I mean, I don't know that I can really tell you just how frustrated I am.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:06 AM

A little more about last night

I think what bugged me so much about not going to see the movie was that I not only wanted to see it, but that I wanted to be with friends. I was just feeling perplexed and emotional, and I could have used a mellow evening of seeing something artsy and being able to just vent.

Instead, I talked to Tab on the phone for a while, and it honestly made me feel a little better. Don't get me wrong.

But still... I felt kind of lame, being at home, talking on the phone and doing more lying around watching TV when I could have been out. It's not like I wanted to party, or that my body could have even handled that. But I could have been seeing Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, you know?

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:04 AM

Doctor's appointment

In 40 minutes or so. The waking up early part really disagreed with me. But I hope to have something to report.

I watched "ER" last night. I liked it.

Not much else to report.

"K-PAX" looks like a really lame movie, I think.


posted by Skattieboy @ 7:57 AM
Thursday, October 25, 2001

Stupid weenie friends

They cancelled the movie plans on me, as they're suddenly going out of town. Oooooooooookay. They're broken up. And still living together. And they still fight. And now they're going on vacation together. Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Okay, I'm actually just irritated because they cancelled on me.

I have another doctor's appointment in the morning, and they hope they'll tell me something useful this time.

I hung out with new girl some more after class, and I feel like such a dope. I just do.

And I'm pondering finding a roommate and getting out of here. I hadn't really thought of it before my lease runs out in April, but I do kind of want to think about it. And I was pleased that he approached me about it, because I don't know him too well, but he seems cool. And it also pleased me to think that he thought I'd make a cool roommate.

I still have a lot of work to do, and my brain is so fuzzy I just don't think I can.

And I smell like coffee.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:14 PM

Okay, so much for that experiment

Bye bye, BlogBack. Call me impatient, but that was just a tad ridiculous. One day of reliability? No thanks.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:15 AM

Got that stupid paper done

Not really one of my more inspired efforts, but it still feels good to not have that hanging over my head.

I slept for the first time without Nyquil last night, and it was still a solid night's sojourn to sleepyland. I don't know if I'm feeling quite as woozy after, although it could just be that getting to stay in bed an extra hour or so made the difference.

"Enterprise" continues to be okay, if a bit underwhelming. It's nice that I'm not feeling irritated at the bad acting or the dopey stories, but it just seems like there's something magical missing. I don't know. I'll keep watching, but I hope they find some writers with a bit more creative ideas. But hey, Andorians next week...

I think I'm going to make my first trip to the movie theater in weeks, to see "Mulholland Drive" tonight. There's some other stuff I'd like to see, too, but we'll see how this tests my constitution (can I stay awake through the whole thing).

I'm trying a new way to stay warm in my cold basement: Since I have all my bedding out on the front room futon (I've been sleeping there because it's convenient, since I have to do a lot of work on my laptop, and find myself needing to rest a lot), I've been turning on my electric blanket and then sitting on it. Seems the warmth that radiates through my tuchas manages to keep the rest of me fairly toasty, too.

I don't know if it's a good sign or not, but that Taco Bell food actually tasted good last night. Now if I could just get rid of this midchest congestion, metallic taste in my mouth, horrible occipital headache, and fatigue.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:32 AM

I AM 27% GOTH.



Goth by night, normal by day. Deep in my
heart I know I am evil, but not on the
company's time. I do need to eat.


Take the GOTH Test at Fuali.com!



That's not me in the pic, by the way.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:20 AM
Wednesday, October 24, 2001

Unexpected visitors

Tom and Rachel stopped by, unannounced (but luckily after "Enterprise"). There was lots of sharing and swapping of sick stories, some laughter, and now I can't friggin' concentrate on trying to write that stupid short paper.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:20 PM

I AM 41% PUNK.



The intelligent punk. Tuff and Smart. I
may be able to maintain a train of thought
long enough... What the fuck was I talking
about?


Take the PUNK/POSER Test at Fuali.com!



Heh heh. "Tuff". Heh.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:18 PM

I AM 37% GEEK.



I probably work in computers, or a history
department at a college. I never really
fit in with the "normal" crowd. But I have
friends, and this is a good thing.


Take the GEEK Test at Fuali.com!



Don't. Say. A. Word.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:02 PM

So I figure I can procrastinate a while longer

That Ethics paper looks relatively easy, and I'm really tired, after all. And "Enterprise" is on tonight.

I got lucky and got out of an appointment tomorrow morning, thanks to a kind secretary.

People keep putting the idea in my head that I have mono. It's a plot to worry me. It's working.

I'm tired. And cold. And clammy. And food still doesn't taste good.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:29 PM

Why don't I get any interesting Google searches?

I guess I need to start being more provocative than "mirror neurons".

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:38 AM

Not much to report, really

I still feel poopy.

It's getting more like fall outside.

I was so bored by "Buffy" that I sat down and finished my Stats homework while the TV played in the background.

My roommates came home late last night and made a ton of noise, yukking it up and playing music, seemingly forgetting that we have Stats early today. I was annoyed.

I continue to love "Generation X".

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:35 AM
Tuesday, October 23, 2001

Bye bye, Reblogger

Too many headaches. The sad thing is you can't see the number of comments with BlogBack (not without a slower download for the page, anyway), but it's worth it to have reliable comments again.

posted by Skattieboy @ 6:19 PM

So I'm already back in my jammies

I turned in my homework, sat through both classes, grabbed a couple of cheese slices for dinner, and am now firmly entrenched on the futon, for to rest my weary head and do my Stats homework.

Oh, and I have got to be the biggest schmuck ever where she's concerned.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:41 PM

Huzzah!!!!

Go now, and tell Keith thank you! He sent me a tape of "The Daily Show" to brighten my sick days...

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:39 PM

Pointless pondering

Last night was another lying around kind of night, trying to finish up that homework (which I finally concluded a short time ago, as I had to sleep on the final answer before it could sprout forth like Athena from my Zeus-like forehead), feeling unenergetic and chilled, bundled in blankets and alternating between my Neural Nets text, the computer screen, the baseball playoff game, and the Monday night NFL game.

A telephone call both cheered me and saddened me.

I ponder the disappearing wart on the bottom of my left foot, just behind the knuckle of my big toe, turning white and peeling off in successive layers. It's gone from a callused-looking bump with little splintery grains to a small white lump, tender and vulnerable.

I can't stop listening to Built to Spill and Burning Airlines, something wistful in their guitars and drifting words.

And I marvel at Coupland. Get mad at him for the characterization of "Generation X" and the subsequent backlash against aimlessness and anomie, but don't fault the sly and cutting observations.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:27 AM

Call me Typhoid Skattie

Only, unlike that fabled disease bag, I'm sadly selective in who I give the sickness to. It seems that it's only the folks I really like who get it, and while there's some fraternity in knowing that it's not just me, that this is a particularly nasty virus, it's also incredibly sad feeling that someone else is suffering, especially good people.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:20 AM

Quote-unquote

"Here are some words. Will you take them away? Some better ways for what they mean to say: puzzles and rhymes, geography and time, or a kiss, like praying. We know, unknowing, to let nobody in this armor, the thinnest skin. I only want to breathe you in. Mediated by electricity. Year and a day, all curiosity. Touch and defy impossibility. Is one thing in this world sane? We know, unknowing, to let nobody in this armor, the thinnest skin. But I will know you, reveal and revel in, if I can only begin. Will I breathe, will I breathe you in? I celebrate blue eyes that blaze new sun from your city of rain. No dawn ever brought me so awake. Let this begin. Will I breathe, will I breathe you in?" - "A Song with No Words", Burning Airlines

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:17 AM
Monday, October 22, 2001

So I did see the doctor

And it is a virus. There's not much I can do but get lots of rest and fluids and stay warm. And watch my fever. And watch out for a cough.

And I want to see "The One". Yeah, I know. You don't have to say it.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:17 PM

So here I sit

Listening to Burning Airlines and Built to Spill, alternating between sipping hot tea and Nantucket Nectars' overly sweet orange mango juice cocktail, munching rather placidly on a Power Bar, as if hoping that will somehow give me energy, since sleep and caffeine failed to do so.

I didn't do awful on the Stats exam, but I didn't do as well as I would have liked, so that has me kicking myself for being sick and determined to do better. And I'm mulling over whether I should take a little nap or try to get some work done on some assignments. The good news is that the neuropsych assessment I was supposed to start this week may not happen (the original folks decided to go somewhere else, so we'd have to schedule someone else, sort of at the last minute), so I may have more of a breather than I thought I would. If writing a draft report and another Ethics paper can be called a breather.

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:32 AM

Not more of those pretentious quotes...

"When you see such photos, you can't help but wonder at just how sweet and sad and innocent all moments of life are rendered by the tripping of a camera's shutter, for at that point the future is still unknown and has yet to hurt us, and also for that brief moment, our poses are accepted as honest." - Douglas Coupland, "Generation X"


posted by Skattieboy @ 11:26 AM

To the US Postmaster General

I appreciate the warning, really. But nobody is going to send me an anthrax-laden package. Come off it. Stuff like that just heightens the paranoia, and makes people act more like frightened sheep. Geez.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:27 AM

Another inspiring morning

I'm fairly frustrated, waking up still feeling bleh. Showering helps wash off the sweat, but it just comes back. Brushing my teeth scrubs the bleh out of my mouth, but it returns. And resting up leads to a false feeling of wellness that dissipates when I try to get up and walk around.

I spent most of yesterday lying on my living room futon, where I've moved all my bedding. I got somewhat caught up on my Ethics reading, watched some baseball, and finished up "The Dinner Game" (which was enjoyable fluff, but a bit too silly to be as biting as I might have expected), and then passed out during the "ER" repeat.

I'm forcing myself to rise and go to Stats today, then going to the doctor, coming back to finish up my Neural Nets homework, and (hopefully) working on my assessment report.

And then resting some more.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:24 AM
Sunday, October 21, 2001

Yuck

I still have that horrible metallic taste in my mouth that tells me I'm sick, along with the occasional beads of sweat that seem to well up on my forehead for no reason. Yes, it's back to bed for me, to watch some TV and just rest up. I'm going to try to watch the rest of that video sometime, provided I can stay awake.

Friends will have to wait. I'd love to see them and hang out, but my body won't comply.

I hope it doesn't sound snotty if I say that I think I'll be a good therapist someday.

posted by Skattieboy @ 1:17 PM

And just so's you know

I started watching "The Dinner Game" last night but didn't finish. I know you're all on pins and needles.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:39 AM

Too tired and incoherent to blog

I got about 2 hours of sleep, and shower notwithstanding, I have sweat beaded on my forehead from a fever. And I'm rushing off to do testing in about 15 minutes.

Yes, I think there will be more flopping on the futon this afternoon.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:32 AM
Saturday, October 20, 2001

I feel chatty. Don't you?

And I think you should use the word snirky. Because it's more apropos. No? But whatever. Because I made up "smirky" there too.

:)

posted by Tabitha @ 8:41 PM

I really would love to be able to throw any number of smirky comments your way

After all, I've just sat here, reading any number of blogs, several of which deserve some sort of comment, and yet my feverish brain just lacks the composure to come up with even the most basic of amusing comments to toss back in response. Poopy.

It's a cold, dreary day outside, or at least it was when I sauntered out to grab a snack (and lest you think I've regained my appetite, you should know that it was just an attempt to keep myself from being more rundown, by grabbing something, anything, to eat).

I spent the morning and a lot of the afternoon working, even though our subjects didn't show in the AM. Instead, it was an excuse to wearily enter and doublecheck data, so we're not playing catch-up after the quarter ends. if it sounds thrilling to you, then I haven't quite managed to capture the charm of that experience.

One of my roomies kind of hinted about mowing the lawn this morning, noting that I was sick and probably didn't feel like it, to which I heartily agreed. I'm hoping she sees that as an excuse for her to actually do it, since I'm not the friggin' errand boy.

Oh, and I figured out who my mysterious, paranoia-inducing visitor was, and I'm simultaneously flattered and worried now. Seems this was the result: Clickable Colorado – Worthy Local Web Links (for GoGo Magazine)
Freudian Slop – Follow the trials and trivia of a Denver-area grad student on his highly personal Web log. Will he ever stay out late again or is he stuck in a nightmare of stats homework? Will he get the cute girl or be doomed to eternal study dates? Updated almost every day at skattieboy.blogspot.com. [Free sample: "So I'm about halfway through the plantar wart treatments, and I think they're going to work this time."]
. By the way, that comes from this feller's blog.

posted by Skattieboy @ 4:16 PM

The best part of waking up

Is crawling back into bed. If you thought I was gonna answer "is Folger's in your cup", you're nuts.

So I'm drinking my morning coffee from an insulated travel cup that I'm pretty sure is not thoroughly rinsed, and forcing myself to eat again (I'd be saving tons on food right now if the cost of cold meds didn't offset that). I'm dreading going over to work on the study today, even though I know it's not really hard work. It's just the thought of watching my weekend go bye-bye and having to get up early, when I'd rather just snore away the morning under some warm blankets...

*sigh*

The trip to Boulder was kind of a bust, in that the lame ass record store didn't have either the new Sloan or the new (International) Noise Conspiracy discs (and I resent record stores that pretend to be very diverse and then aren't. It's fine to promote yourself as specializing in one musical genre, but if you're going to put up a pretense of appealing to all, then I'd think you'd have a better selection of everything), so I settled for the newest Burning Airlines (mostly so I could listen to "Dear Hilary"). And I managed to track down a copy of Coupland's "Generation X", which I hadn't ever read.

John drove like kind of an idiot going to and coming back, so I was glad to come home in one piece, settle into a warm bed, and start reading some Coupland. It looks like I've set aside the Campbell book for a while, because I'm feeling myself drawn in, envious (as always) of Coupland's prose.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:23 AM
Friday, October 19, 2001

I'm such a bad patient

I really should have gone to the doctor by now, but I'd rather suffer, like a complete dope. So instead I've been keeping myself busy, cleaning up my apartment a bit, doing some homework to get a bit ahead, and now I'm planning to go to Boulder with a similarly ailing John for some music shopping. I can't help it. I really can't.

By the way, my paranoia-inducing visitor came back, much to my dismay. I still have no idea who it is.

And that old girl was sweet today, which also makes me suspicious.

Today's been weird. And I haven't even taken cold medicine. Hoo boy.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:20 PM

More mindless minutiae

So I'm about halfway through the plantar wart treatments, and I think they're going to work this time.

Oh, and that new Colgate Total toothpaste? It sure leaves my teeth feeling clean, but I don't know that I like the flavor.


posted by Skattieboy @ 12:42 PM

So I really wanna know

If I like a lot of the stuff in the J. Crew catalogue, does that mean I'm getting old?

posted by Skattieboy @ 12:39 PM

More poopy

Thanks to various stupid obligations, I think I'm going to miss out on the Murphys show on Monday. And I was really looking forward to seeing them and Tiger Army.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:19 AM

More astrology

Just because I feel like sharing, and these kinds of things seem to make sense sometimes:

You could enjoy spending time with creative, lighthearted people, Scott. If you have any artistic friends, consider going out to lunch with them. Or go to a party that is being held by colorful, eccentric types. You need to brighten up your social life a bit. You're an imaginative person, and you thrive when you are around stimulating people, so don't let dull workmates drag your spirits down!

I don't know how true all that is. Although the bit about "dull workmates" can certainly be true when you get a whole lot of grad students together and they start talking shop.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:16 AM

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

It's friggin' cold here in my basement. Must remember to speak to roomies about the heating, since they have the thermostat upstairs.

I made my coffee too strong this morning, but it's kind of a different wake-up when the hot black stuff has a rather eye-opening quality.

So I got the night sweat's pretty bad last night, awakening after all of about an hour to find myself drenched. I literally got up and toweled off and changed my night clothes, and gulped down about half a gallon of water, feeling completely parched and feverish. I'm hoping that means the fever finally broke, but judging by my chills this morning, I'd say not (poop!). Then I fell back into a rather sound sleep for a few hours, but I'm not feeling all that well-rested. I think I may have to beg off any hanging out tonight, even though I have people pestering me.

I'm going into school today, despite the fact that I really don't want to. I have to work this weekend, so there may not be all that much time to get my Stats and Neural Nets homework done, and it would be kind of a relief to not have to cram them in all at once, come Sunday night. And I'm also training someone on how to administer the adult version of the Wechsler IQ test, which astounds me, when I think about it. Last year I had no clue what I was doing, and now I'm training people to do IQ tests. Weird.

I watched some TV last night and just stretched out on the futon rather pitifully, reading "Couscous Express" (which was okay, but nothing special), and then watched "ER". I don't know if it was the cold medicine or what, but the latter seemed kind of flat, too, and I'm not sure if I approve of the housecleaning that's been going on with the cast.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now, so I think that means it's time to get my day started.

Listening to: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, "BRMC" (thanks for the inadvertant recommendation, Matt)

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:56 AM
Thursday, October 18, 2001

Stupid, stupid, stupid

So I went out and got some stuff before class and then went to the Neural Nets lecture. Today was actually more theoretical, in that we were finally getting past the mathematical part of the class and into the more practical applications of the models. And I made a comment that really pleased the instructor, so I felt good in that way that only ex-teachers' pets can understand.

Oh, and I got a perfect score on my homework, which inches me closer to an "A" in the class, thank God.

But still, I sat there, enjoying class, but thinking how much I wished that she was there.

I'm such a dope.

And now I'm dealing with the chills, and even though the body ache and fatigue is less, they're still there, along with the sudden presence of a cough and this horrible pain in my sinus cavity. I'm only giving you this vivid description because I want you to understand how miserable I feel and offer me much sympathy.

I'm waiting.

posted by Skattieboy @ 4:24 PM

It's a cold, clear day

I don't think it struck me, looking out the window, how chilly it is today. I was lucky and wore a thermal shirt underneath, since I figured I'd be chilled, anyway, but I still had to zip up my jacket, since there was a bit of a breeze as I walked over to pick up a copy of "The Onion".

And I don't know that it hit me how awful I felt yesterday until I started eating my Power Bar and fruit lunch just now. I was only able to force down a couple Pop-Tarts and about 2/3 of a Chipotle burrito (which I just sort of absentmindedly munched on, not even tasting it, except for the occasional bite of the habanero hot sauce).

I also don't know why I felt like sharing that.

posted by Skattieboy @ 12:23 PM

No more forcing

Yeah, I'm feeling like I've been forcing a lot of things lately, largely because (I think) academic pressure kind of encourages that. The need to push yourself to do stuff to get it done, because it has to be done. And it works for that, but not other parts of my life.

So no more. I'll push myself to succeed at certain things, and slow down on others.

And no more forcing myself to try to be witty when I ain't feeling it. I've been feeling pretty unfunny of late.

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:09 AM

(Insert subtly clever header here)

Listening to: Built to Spill, "Ancient Melodies of the Future"

I slept a solid 8 hours last night, and it did wonders. I'm still not 100 %, but compared to where I was last night, I'm feeling infinitely better. Of course, we'll see if that holds up once I try something a little more demanding, like prying my butt off the futon to go shower and go to class...

So yeah, I watched "Enterprise" last night, and it wasn't great, but it was still entertaining. I could see about a dozen different things they could have explored with that idea, but they didn't. Honestly, the story just kind of felt like "Well, here's an interesting idea, let's go with it". I can see that the tone of the series is going to be that sense of wonder, in "exploring strange new worlds", but I hope there's a little more thought injected into some of these plots. But I did like it. Don't get me wrong.

Then I just flopped on my bed futon, under several blankies, reading, shivering, sweating, and talking to various folks on the phone, which made me feel better.Even if I don't have the answers for our respective dilemmas, it was somehow nice to talk.

And I read through all of "Don't Call Me Stupid" a collection of "Yikes!" strips by the very talented Steven "Ribs" Weissman. It was spiffy, and sent me off to dreamland chuckling.

So I have a light day today, mostly be my choice. I only have one class (Neural Nets, which will have my head spinning after the two hours is over), and I could do some work on my neuropsych report, but I'd rather just have another evening of taking it easy. I have to work this weekend, and I want to be well-rested so I can face that and get over this lingering illness.

Luckily, the girl will be gone for most of the weekend, so I can (hopefully) not think about her and just get my head on straight. Maybe I'll finally go to dinner with friends and even catch a movie or two.

Oh, and I still have to pick up the new Sloan. I could go over to the conveniently located chain store and get it for more money, or I can hold out and pay less money and feel good for supporting a local bidness.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:56 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2001

Good news and bad news

The good news is that it wasn't the cold medicine that was making me feel so vile. The bad news is that it's just this illness, kicking my butt. My cold medicine wore off right around the time neuropsych clinic started, and as awful as I felt before, this was infinitely worse.

I came home and took some more Tylenol Flu and then stupidly made the 5 + mile (round trip) trek to the comics shop on foot, like a glutton for punishment. And while I got some cool stuff (two cool graphic albums by two of my favorite comics creators, Brian Wood and Steven Weissman), that really drained me. Now it's all I can do to try to force down some food and to try not to fall over as I type this.

That relaxed evening sounds very nice, right now. Lots of fluids, a warm blankie (I've got the chills now, even though I was feverish enough to break a sweat during Stats this morning), some comics, and "Enterprise" will be on the agenda, and not much more.

I got another "A" on the second Ethics paper, by the way. Well, I'm proud of me, at least...

And I'm puzzled by a couple visitors, one of whom seems to be someone I really haven't talked to since April, and that darned visitor from CU-Denver. I know I shouldn't be so suspicious, but I'd just feel so much better if he or she would just drop me a note to let me know my secret confessions aren't being spread amongst my department.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:32 PM

God, I wish I had that on tape

So I've been watching "Today" and Matt Lauer was speaking with the CEO of a company that manufactures "executive escape chutes", portable parachutes that folks who live on the highest floors of tall buildings can use. The utility of such a device is unquestionable, really.

But in a bit of blackest gallows humor, the CEO was trying (with the help of a model) to demonstrate how easy it is to put on the chute. Of course, said model not only couldn't get the pack on without help, but then couldn't secure it.

I think you had to see it to appreciate it.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:25 AM

More whining

I was able to come home after school, downed my dinner (and they overcooked my noodles, annoyingly), and then got right down to my "busywork" Stats homework (which would have been useful to have completed before the exam), working right through yet another lame "Buffy" episode. Then I kind of laid there, bemoaning my fate. I decided to watch "Bottle Rocket" again, chuckling through most of it, and then headed off to bed very early, passing out solidly, but waking at various points in the night, only to fall back to heavy but restless sleep.

Yes, I still feel poopy today. I think tonight is the night to take it easy.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:19 AM

Gee, thanks, Reblogger

Well, thanks to all the problems with that "comments" system (slow connection, wiping out comments), I think I'll be investigating an alternative. Sorry if your thoughtful replies were eradicated...


posted by Skattieboy @ 8:13 AM
Tuesday, October 16, 2001

Ugh again

I still feel like poopoo and I had a looooooooooong day. A bewildering day. I got a sweet phone call that had me smiling but also feeling sad about the way things work sometimes. All I can do is smile about it, I guess.

I felt befuddled in class.

I have phone calls to make.

And I have long-delayed Stats homework to finish. And yet I'm sitting here in front of the laptop instead.

posted by Skattieboy @ 6:27 PM

Doing things a little differently

Maybe it was because I knew I was still groggy when I rose this morning, Nyquil still weighing heavily on my consciousness. Or perhaps it was just because I feel like my entries have been decidedly unexciting and uninsightful lately. Whatever the case, I decided to wait a while to start blogging, to let the coffee have its effect (its "wake up!" effect, that is) before trying to put any thoughts out there.

I don't know if it's working, though.

Thankfully, I had managed to complete some of my homework earlier yesterday, so the task of completing it last night wasn't nearly so onerous. But I definitely had a hard time getting started, as I mostly laid on the futon after eating dinner, moaning (in a bad way, feeling utterly sick, so don't get the wrong idea), and didn't actually get around to it until 10 o'clock or so. But I felt pretty good about my answers for a change, which was scary. Either I'm starting to grasp the material, or the cold meds are making me very delusional.

I'm still feeling somewhat groggy, and a bit vapid, so if I come across that way, pardon me, okay?

I was feeling pretty disillusioned yesterday, and pitiful, but I think a lot of that was tied to my bodily complaints, althoughI had this really sad reaction to having gotten no phone calls all day. *sigh* I'm becoming aware (if I didn't already know it) that life is just a process of change and growth (we hope), so even the setbacks can be seen in a positive light.

I couldn't help but sit in the feedback session (which went pretty well for us, the assessors) and worry for the 19-year-old assessee, sitting there pondering his future with ADHD, and possessing no clue what to do with his life, no how to go about figuring it out. And it made me feel awful for him, even as it cheered me a bit, knowing that I have a direction and the drive to get where I want to be, at least professionally and intellectually, and then I was back to concern for him again (since our neuropsych evaluations are just that, and we don't really do life counseling there).

Okay. That didn't really make sense, did it? Maybe it's time to wake up some more. Just keep your fingers crossed that I don't need to do any more medicating today. That would be bad for me, as far as getting anything meaningful from my classes.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:23 AM
Monday, October 15, 2001

I don't know whether to be paranoid, but...

When folks from cudenver.edu start visiting my blog, I get a little scared...

posted by Skattieboy @ 6:22 PM

Um, yeah...

That was the sound of my head hitting the keyboard.

posted by Skattieboy @ 1:54 PM

A couple changes to the "Links" page

I haven't gotten around to doing anything with the "About Me" page yet, but I have been fiddling with the "Links". I dunno why that's notable, except that it's keeping me awake.

posted by Skattieboy @ 1:49 PM

I feel like poopoo

So at first I thought it was that I was just tired. After all, I only got about 5 1/2 hours of sleep (not recommended if you have an exam in the morning, by the way). But I somehow managed to feel like I did okay on that Stats test (although asking about the Central Limit Theorem when you didn't even really discuss it in class is pretty cheap, I'd say), did a little work on my Neural Nets homework, started my neuropsych report, and managed to read a bit even. But my energy level has been fading, my stomach has been churning, and my body has started to ache, kind of like a really bad hangover, multiplied. And I ascribed all that on being tired, so I'm on my 4th cup of coffee for the day, and yet somehow it's not going away.

And no, it's not a hangover, for real.

And I wish that girl would stop acting cute, dammit.

posted by Skattieboy @ 1:31 PM

Oh, and I got this cheery little weekly forecast

Funny how these things only seem to make sense when you least want to hear this kind of advice:

Thoughts of the future and of plans and ideas that you can set in motion, or relationships that you can become involved in and begin to enjoy are very much in your mind this week, with four planets in airy Libra. You are keen to get the balance right when it comes to loving, living, and working with certain people, although at times over the next few days, this could be a little difficult. There is plenty of talking, but it may feel as though you are going round and round in circles, and not really getting where you need to be. The Sun squares Mars during the week, and this may mean that a source of tension continues until you decide to do something practical to put an end to it. You may need to talk to the person in question in such a way that they get the message. Perhaps there is something that you can do to bring the situation to a closure. Venus trines Neptune, which may mean that a short break, or tickets to see a show or a really good film will cheer you up no end, and make the world of difference to the way you are currently feeling.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:58 AM

Assorted ramblings

So it snowed last night... It's kind of pretty, but *sigh*.

I'm feeling distinctly unprepared for this exam.

I finished watching "Time and Tide", and while I don't think I really understood the plot (I think I was bit distracted and loopy from cold medicine), it was still pretty cool. Most of it, anyway. Some pretty athletic stuff at various points and some fairly innovative camera techniques.

I couldn't check any comments on my blog yesterday.

Still thinking about the situation with that girl, and feeling a bit bummed, mostly by the circumstances. As I noted yesterday, it's probably for the best, but still...

It was nice hanging out with those guys yesterday, but something about the talk just got under my skin. I think a big part of it was Luis, who's broken up with his girlfriend (as far as we can tell) and is just being a complete shit about it. I mean, he was a bit of a dog before (going to parties and bars and hitting on women and lying to her about where he was going), but he's gotten even worse now. I don't know. It just has me thinking about male-female relationships in a bad way.

I think I'll be in a better mood tonight, once the exam and assessment feedback session are over.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:49 AM
Sunday, October 14, 2001

I wish I could say I've been productive

But I haven't been. John's friend Brady has been in town, so I went off to breakfast with them, then came back and watched the Broncos game and drank a little (they were lushes, while I just put away a couple, knowing I have Stats to study for tonight)There was some amusing tension, as Luis came over (and he owes John several hundred dollars), as did Mike (John's brother, and the two argue and yap at each other like newborn puppies). Then it was off to play some more "Golden Tee", and I feel like poop.

*sigh*

Drinking beer, any beer, is no good for a cold.

And I just feel odd, emotionally.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:52 PM

And to underscore that earlier post

Here's my astrological forecast. I'm not superstitious, but this is pretty eerie, isn't it?

Why not take a look at what is happening inside of you, Scott? It's true that you do not normally do this, but you can no longer deny the problems you are having with your self-confidence. For once, it would be worthwhile for you to stop and think. You won't be able to resolve your problems in the wink of an eye, but you can at least put yourself on a path that will lead to resolution.


posted by Skattieboy @ 10:31 AM

Pull back

So yeah, I went home last night and finished watching “The Widow of St. Pierre”, a fine film and one of those uniquely French tragedies. Not exactly the best material to watch, with my mindset, I suppose. So then I proceeded to drink a few beers, watch an “ER” repeat, and started in on “Time and Tide” before I got too sleepy to pay attention.

I have a feeling I have some people disappointed in me after yesterday, but I really did need to get studying done and did so. So they can be pouty babies.

And, in case you were wondering, I got a few things straight with this new woman (she’s old enough to be referred to as a woman, I think). Seems she does like me, but is in the midst of a horrible breakup at the moment, which is somewhat discouraging, but also probably a good thing. So we both realized the need to reassess, not that we’ll stop spending time together, but because she needs to get her head on straight.

Honestly, so do I, I think. The extreme neurotic reaction I was having just made me stop and think, about what I need and want and what I’m capable of giving at the moment, as well as thinking through other emotional baggage.

So things are working out the way they’re supposed to, I reckon. If something’s meant to happen, it still could. There’s just no use in struggling, right?

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:28 AM
Saturday, October 13, 2001

I know I shouldn't laugh, but...

This cracked my shit up. He's a nice guy and all (when I met him, anyway), but having your car stolen twice in two years?

posted by Skattieboy @ 3:45 PM

By the way

Yes, I am doing the studybuddy thing and enjoying yes, I am enjoying myself. Things are a little more complicated than I thought, but I'm encouraged.

posted by Skattieboy @ 3:35 PM

Do yourself a favor

Go here and download the trailer to "The Royal Tenenbaums". You'll be glad you did.

posted by Skattieboy @ 3:32 PM

*Cough**Hack**Gasp**Wheeze*

So this illness just doesn't seem to want to go away. I suspect that part of it is having been around cigarette smoke two nights in a row, and being stressed and worried about Monday's exam, Tuesday's homework, writing my assessment report (which I haven't even started) and just general neurosis. Anyway, I've developed some chest congestion and a cough now, which is just such good news...

Um, I went to sleep having watched some of "The Widow of St. Pierre", but I don't think I could provide meaningful insight just yet.

And I'm just a fool, because I found myself looking forward to today, despite the fact that it entails working through homework and studying for that Stats midterm. *sigh*

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:52 AM
Friday, October 12, 2001

Maybe I'm just dense...?

But was Jay Leno ever funny?

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:59 PM

Hi

Today has been weird, you know? It started with that unwillingness to get up, and I've been pretty much occupied ever since. I had a lab meeting in which we were once again working to revise the measure for my master's project, then I had to do a couple things for my assessment case, then I ran into my friend Kristen, quite coincidentally. We went off for coffee for a while, I dropped back by school for a minute, and then I ran into the girl who makes my stomach all fluttery. Out of the blue, I just found myself sitting down to late lunch with her and the next thing I knew, the afternoon was over. Then I came home, and Tom showed up, and while he was here, my buddy Ben called to see if I wanted to go off with some of the grad students for a late Happy Hour. So Tom hung out for a while, then it was off for drinks and "Golden Tee" and good conversation and now I'm finally home.

I don't think I could do this much hanging around with people every day, but it was nice to be with people I enjoy being with.

I may start playing basketball on Monday nights.

I don't know why I can't just be around this girl without feeling all neurotic. It's funny, because when I'm around her I'm totally relaxed. I'm just dopey, goofy me, and it feels nice. But then when I'm not around her, I feel stupid and awkward about it. I think it's all because I keep expecting the worst, because this summer sort of conditioned me that way. And it worries me, because I feel like if I'm feeling like that, I'm bound to do something stupid.

*sigh*

I just need to stop worrying and make it not be such a big deal. Right?

Did I tell you she's flying back to San Francisco next weekend to see Bjork?

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:23 PM

I like Fridays

I skipped out on a review session (which was not required) for my Stats class, despite the fact that I have an exam on Monday, opting instead to stay in my warm and inviting bed (futon), electric blanket throwing off a little extra heat. And I've just been waking ever so slowly, sipping my burnt coffee (gotta remember to look at the coffee maker) and listening to some Jonathan Richman (which was relaxing me right up until "Pablo Picasso", with the line about "Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole, Not like you").

Yes, there was "Golden Tee" last night, but neither John nor I seemed terribly inspired. I think it was just an opportunity to go to the local bar, drink a couple beers, and just relax. Then back home to watch the "ER" episode that I taped (and I'm happy to report that it seems to have avoided the same slump that so many other long-running series have suffered, but that could just be because I'm a latecomer to watching) and perusing the local throwaway paper to see what's opening at the Denver International Film Festival (tongue firmly in cheek about that euphemism), and wishing I could see "The Man Who Wasn't There" Monday (but knowing I'll probably be too busy with schoolwork).

And I have another "study date" for tomorrow, and I wish I could say I'm not being a dope about it. It's odd, because the situation and the interactions don't call for such neuroticism, and yet just thinking about it gets my stomach all butterfly-ish. Maybe it's the coffee?

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:26 AM

D Day: 5 days and counting

Until "Pretty Together" comes out.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:13 AM

Quote o' the day

"It must be remembered that while sympathy with joy intensifies the sum of joy in the world, sympathy with pain does not really diminish the amount of pain. It may make man better able to endure evil, but the evil remains." - Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:07 AM
Thursday, October 11, 2001

Hahahahahaha

Click here to find out what robot you really are

That's another cute little link, which will let you know what kind of robutt you are. I don't whether to be offended, or just kill you all with kindness.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:23 PM

So Aimee packed up shop

I could give you the link, but since it's evidently closed, what would be the point...?

Let me just suffice to say that "Geektastic" was one of my favorite destinations, having stumbled on it by accident when Blogger actually managed to spot a worthy "Blog of Note". And when I decided to pack it all in (as far as my blogging), Ms. Hall was one of the first to criticize me about that.

And now, she's closing up shop, because something awful happened, in part because of said blog.

I can respect that, really. I'd probably be pretty bugged and annoyed and upset, too. But it still sucks. I'm hoping that this is just a temporary thing, that "Geektastic" will be back in one form or another, because the world needs irony and bitterness and chickenheads.

posted by Skattieboy @ 4:00 PM

Hokay, it's been weird...

Um, my mentor was unable to met this morning so we ended up conferring via phone (and, for those who will probably appreciate this {*cough**cough*, Meredith}, it looks like we may be ready to start piloting at least some items from my measure on undergrads as soon as I get permission to recruit from the instructors). Then the paper I did for my Ethics class somehow ended up getting lost in the digital dropbox on Blackboard (a program we use here, which is rather irrelevant, but just kind of shows how technology is not our friend), so I was lucky to have it on disk and be the sort of annoying "teacher's pet" student who can get away with an excuse like that. Then, somehow, I managed to get a perfect score on my Neural Nets homework, despite the fact that I felt like I understood none of it.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

"Golden Tee" is definitely called for tonight.

posted by Skattieboy @ 3:09 PM

So...

I turned in plenty early last night, reading the stuff I purchased at the comics store yesterday (including stuff by my favorite comics artist. It was very relaxed and relaxing, bundled up in my electric blanket and down comforter (my basement is plenty cold, and the temperature dropped a bit yesterday, in preparation for what's to come) on my futon. I needed it, really needed it in the very worst way. And I got up later than usual (8:30, which feels like really late, and that fact scares me) and have just kind of been puttering around, getting started ever so slowly.

My colleague informed me that he wants to try to reschedule our trip to Yale for the second week in November, which may not work for me, so I'll have to do some thinking and arranging.

And I'm also thinking about how not to be a dumbass.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:56 AM

Awwwwwww

After reading what Tab posted below, I'd be ashamed to whine today, especially when I really don't have much to truly complain about.

Instead, I feel like I have to repay the favor to her, much as she did a few weeks ago. You see, I feel like I know her pretty well. I've loved her and been loved by her, and I can honestly say she's one of my very favorite people in the whole world. Sweet, kind, intelligent, funny, cool, beautiful (inside and out), and a true joy to be with. A guy would be lucky to be with her, to have her love him. And anyone who can't appreciate that is more than a fool. He's damaged, unappreciative, and just plain stupid.

Go, and send her love.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:35 AM

Remember the Boy Scout motto

(And I'm not talking about their indefensible position on homosexuality)

"Be prepared" . Part of the sad toll from the World Trade Center tragedy that's yet to be appreciated.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:25 AM

I miss you. Whoever you are.

posted by Tabitha @ 1:43 AM

I just can't stop thinking about how shitty I feel. I can't talk about it. I can't do anything about it. I'm heartbroken, wallet broken, friendbroken, family broken, world broken. I will never love again. And I will never let anyone love me. So then no one will love me. No one loves me.

Don't love me.

I won't let you.

I'm fucked.

And I don't even feel like I have the right to complain about it.

So here I am on someone else's blog.

I just want to crawl up into a little ball and have someone hold me to sleep. I think I could let someone love me then. For only a little while though. Yeah.

I kind of want to cry but I won't let myself.

Why can't I be loved? By the people I want to be loved by? In this state? Physically? Okay. Well, good stuff. Don't mind me . . .

posted by Tabitha @ 1:42 AM
Wednesday, October 10, 2001

Okay, there MUST be something wrong with me

I did watch "Enterprise", as I had planned, but only after I started the paper, and I worked on it through the episode and after, giving myself time to write it thoughtfully and well, and now I actually have some leisure time before bed.

I dunno. Maybe it's from seeing so many ADHD cases in the lab and discussed in the neuropsych clinic, but my procrastinating tendencies just don't seem to be as bad. It's scary.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:28 PM

Let the procrastination begin... Later

So I have a 3-5 page Ethics paper due tomorrow. It's actually not that big a deal, and I'm confident I can just spew it out, but I just don't want to. Not yet. It's kind of dumb, too, because I talked my way out of going to see a sneak preview of "Mulholland Drive" with someone I'd really like to hang out with, because I planned to take most of the evening and do the paper right. I'm such a schmuck.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:43 PM

Oh, and by the way

If you're expecting me to be topical, don't. Not only do I not have it in me to dissect the recent world events in a thoughtful manner, but I really haven't processed my own reactions.

Plus, I'm just having much more fun whining.

Indulge me.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:31 AM

Heh

I was a good boy last night. I came home, and rather than procrastinating, actually did what I needed to do. It took me far longer than expected, and it doesn't mean I won't be busting my ass tonight, too, but I thought I did a good night's work.

And then I just laid in bed, tossing and turning and sweating, and when I arose this fine, chilly, and damp morning, having slept fitfully, I felt rather unrested.

Yes, you could say I'm disillusioned. By sleep.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:29 AM

Dictionary time

suck: v. (slang) being less than desirable (especially when the suffix "-ed" is added). E.g., that evening's sleep surely sucked wet farts out of dead pigeons.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:26 AM
Tuesday, October 09, 2001

Ye Gods

Just when I think I've gotten as tired as I possibly could be, it gets worse. I'm now alternating between drinking Nantucket Nectars' orange-mango concoction and the highly-caffeinated beverage I always buy from my favorite local coffee purveyor.

I think I kind of stunk up that homework, by the way.

I still have tons to do tonight, but I just don't feel like starting.

I worry that if I mention that there's a certain girlie who's caught my eye, I'll jinx it. So I won't. I'll just say that there's a certain irony involved.

Oh, and y'all should know that Tab has moved.

posted by Skattieboy @ 6:59 PM

I probably won't be around much

For the next couple days, at least.

I figured out that I ran at least one neural nets simulation wrong, so I have to go run it again and then rewrite that part of the homework. Plus, I have to finish scoring all the tests for my neuropsych case. Then I have two classes and get to come back to do my stats homework.

Yeah, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Last night was okay, by the way. It didn't take nearly as long to get to the airport as I reckoned, and it was nice getting a recap of the trip from John, so I could live vicariously. And I made a lot of headway on my neural nets homework (I know I understood only about half of it, but I really don't care about anything but getting it done at this point).

And somebody was sweet to me, which was nice. That's one nice thing about being sick.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:27 AM
Monday, October 08, 2001

Better-rested?

Well, I didn't really sleep, so much as just laid there, breathing hard and sweating. But I do feel a bit better. It's funny how when you're in a basement with the shades drawn, you lose track of time and the weather. It feels like it's 40 in here and I know it's at least 70 outside.

By the way, the dumbass did call and left his flight info. Right now I'm just trying to work up some energy to tackle homework.

posted by Skattieboy @ 1:28 PM

I had every intention of going to class

I got up early, showered, drank my coffee and ate my Pop Tart breakfast, and even stopped by the lab to see if I had any messages.

And somewhere in there, I became aware that not only did my body ache (as if I'd just finished a marathon) and not only was my head fuzzy (like I'd just read 300+ pages of an incomprehensible text on particle physics), but I was nauseous and could barely stand up.

So I dropped off my Stats homework, gave my excuses, and came back here, where I'm feeling absolutely and utterly awful.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:39 AM

Another one of those evenings

Where everything just seemed to go by in a blur. I "talked" (used of instant messaging) to a very dear friend, who said incredibly kind and sweet things that had me alternately smiling and misty-eyed, then managed to stay awake for all of "Le Samourai". I don't know if it was the mood or what, but I couldn't really get into it. I mean, I suppose if I got more into the relevance and weight of the film for when it was made (the 60's), then maybe I would have appreciated it more. Instead, I found myself realzing that what I found interesting in the film was that it clearly influenced "Ghost Dog". I'm not saying it's bad. It just left me wanting something more.

And then I slept fitfully, sweating through a high fever. I pondered skipping class this morning, but like the diligent little obsessive-compulsive I am, I'm going. Then it's back here to try to get that homework done, and hoping dumbass John remembers to call and give me his flight information so I can pick him up at the airport tonight.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:14 AM
Sunday, October 07, 2001

Ugh (again)

I haven't been very productive today. I mean, I got some groceries, I ran the rest of the computer simulations, and I did my Stats homework. But I still have to write up my Neural Nets homework (and I'm not even feeling the slightest bit motivated to do that at the moment) and I have no energy at all. I've had chills and fever, a sniffly nose, and extreme fatigue.

But hey, I did manage to finish watching "Girl on the Bridge", which I thought was fantastic. I came to the jaded conclusion that one thing I like about so many French films is that the performances are so sincere, even in comedies, as compared to the over-the-top stuff we get so often from American fare (and it helps that my reference here is Julia Roberts' awful performance in "The Mexican").

So I went out and rented "Le Samourai". Yeah, I should be studying or something, but dammit, I feel like watching another French film.

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:42 PM

I really would like to believe the best

I loved the graphic novel, after all. But the previews I'm seeing just don't fill me with confidence for the movie of "From Hell".

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:08 AM

Wouldn't you like to be a Hobbit, too?

Courtesy of Meredith, here's a little Hobbit name generator. I dunno about "Lotho Chubb", though.

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:05 AM

Well, I think that cold is finally taking hold

Heading to bed last night, I started to feel really poopy. Tired, achy, and shivery, with a drippy nose. And this morning it's even worse... Maybe it'll be good? Lord knows I don't feel like doing much, so I'll probably stay in and try to make sense of all my homework and assignments, like I should...

I still have that video to watch, so there may be some entertainment. I was supposed to go to dinner with friends, but I don't know if I feel up for it.

And I apologize if I'm not too inspired. Still mulling over the work I tried to get done yesterday.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:29 AM
Saturday, October 06, 2001

Okay, that sucked

So about 7 hours of my day got eaten up by homework, and I'm still not done with it.

There was a positive slant to that, though.

I spent some of the evening after that just hanging out with friends (got decent Thai food, believe it or not, and plum wine) and I'm trying desperately to stay awake. I don't want my weekend to just disappear.

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:15 PM

Oh, and that colloquium

It was fairly interesting and provocative, being centered (as it was) on the achievement of scientific eminence and whether that achievement is related to some rather unendearing personality traits.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:06 AM

A blurry evening

So what happened was that I didn't have to do my obligated sit at the desk after all, and (in an only semi-coherent state) headed over to the bar and grill to meet up with some of the other grad students in a sort of impromptu birthday celebration for a fellow grad. It wasn't nearly as onerous and dedicated to "shoptalk" as such events usually are, if only because we had our geekboy talk going. I found myself giggly and just plain dumb at times, as I just couldn't seem to wake up. After 4 beers in two hours, I wasn't drunk, but was just "out of it", so I didn't join them for more celebrating.

Instead, I drove over to Taco Bell and somehow managed to order food, even more miraculously stopped by the video store and picked up "The Girl on the Bridge", came back and ate, and watched the first 40 minutes or so before I found that I couldn't keep my eyes open.

I woke up about 40 minutes later, to an awful episode of latter-day "M*A*S*H*" on my TV and realized it was time to turn in.

There was tossing and turning for a while, and then a semi-coma.

Now I'm in the slow wind-up to a day of Neural Net homework, so my Monday isn't as miserable. I was cheered by a fellow student (who took the class in the past) telling me that the homeworks do get easier.

By the way, I'm listening to Built to Spill.

And I wasn't very knocked out by "The Mexican", which seemed rather uninspired, despite James Gandolfini trying his damnedest. I've been finding Brad Pitt a lot more tolerable, but he didn't seem to have much to work with. Neither did Gene Hackman. The movie was a good half-hour too long. And Julia Roberts was (simply put) terrible.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:04 AM
Friday, October 05, 2001

If I'm not making sense, excuse me

The network was down in the building today and this is the first time I've really been able to get online. So I'm not ignoring your comments. And I'm not losing it.

I'm going off to celebrate a birthday I didn't even know about. And I'm hoping I'll wake up.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:43 PM

So 6 AM really wasn't so bad...

I wasn't nearly as tired as I thought I'd be, even if I'm dragging butt right now, and I feel good having done the favor.

I even had time to get my haircut this morning. Coooooooooooooooooooool...

For some reason, hairtrimming reminds me of growing up in small town Utah. It's funny. Thinking about being an innocent little 8-year-old geekboy, going to the barber for a clean-cut mopcut, and going to the drugstore after, to look at comics, and having the nice pharmacist buy me a Coke, not because he was creepy, but because he was just cool.

Oh, and there was also good sushi today. We had a colloquium speaker, and since I got roped into being the gofer for him, I got invited for lunch.

And I got out of the desk-sitting assignment.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:18 PM

:)

posted by Tabitha @ 10:57 AM

:(

posted by Tabitha @ 10:56 AM

Hi. :)

posted by Tabitha @ 10:56 AM
Thursday, October 04, 2001

Courtney, you're like school on Sunday...

No class.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:51 PM

What a weird, rotten day

Actually, my day wasn't bad at all. I mean, yeah, I have an awful headache, but things haven't been too bad. I'm almost ready to pilot test some items from the measure we're developing for my master's, I did pretty well on my homework (how I really don't know), and I even got a check in the mail (even if it was for a piddly amount). But everyone else seems to be having a poopy time.

Sorry, Aimee. Sorry, Merde.

posted by Skattieboy @ 6:17 PM

A little bad news

I got word from my compatriot at the U that the director of the Child Study Center at Yale died this week, so it looks like we may not be going out there, at least not this month. I'm disappointed, as I was looking forward to the trip, but there are always larger issues to consider, and it probably wouldn't be right...

posted by Skattieboy @ 12:42 PM

A nice little Op Ed piece

I found this on Slate this morning and just felt like sharing.

(I promise I'm not going to turn this into my forum for my own admittedly myopic political views, by the way. Just talking through some of these thoughts and feelings.)

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:30 AM

I like "Nightline"

It really had me thinking last night, as they did a piece (self-serving?) on First Amendment rights in the wake of the events of September 11th, particularly in regards to Bill Maher.

I was sort of fence-sitting prior to that feature, unsure how to feel. I mean, I think Maher is an idiot, and his comment showed not only a lack of respect, but just an incredible insensitivity and stupidity. And this isn't the first time he's said something incredibly moronic.

And yet the furor (with sponsors pulling their ads) just chaps me. Yes, they have the right to sponsor only what they want to sponsor, and his remarks may have offended the companies and their customers. But I still find their actions to be a tad overreactionary and kneejerk. I mean, they could have just issued a statment saying they found his statements offensive but that part of what makes America great is that people have the right to make such comments known, stupid or not. At least I would have respected such a stance.

I don't know. I'm pondering sending Sears and Fed Ex e-mail to let them know that while I respect their views, I also feel they were in the wrong. But while I could overreact to their actions (by urging folks to boycott those companies), I wouldn't do so.

What do you think?

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:21 AM

I like Thursdays, I think

I only have the one class, but it isn't until later in the afternoon, and a couple research meetings. So I can get up later and just kind of putter around before I really decide to wake up. That's what I need this morning.

Oh, and Nyquil really is the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing...", etc. remedy. At least compared to Dayquil. I took a couple last night and passed out for a solid 6 or so hours, while I awakened every few hours on Dayquil.

There was "Golden Tee" last night, by the way. John had a bug up his butt to drive around looking for a different place to play, so that took up a while, and by the time we got there, I was pretty tired and not necessarily playing my best (not was I inspired to do so, honestly). The best part of it was that (despite the fact that this was a pub type establishment), some apparently Mormon folks came in to catch the end of the Avs game, and they were pretty offended by the torrent of obscenities pouring from my mouth and John's as we kept going from bunker to water hazard and vice-versa.

Oh, and I wasn't all that enthralled by last night's "Enterprise" episode. It was still better than "Deep Space Nine" or "Voyager", but I'm craving a little bit more edginess.

It looks like I'll have a car this weekend (since John's out of town). Any bright ideas? Bear in mind that this is the driving equivalent of Oscar the Grouch's trash can, as it's filled to overflowing with trash, and I am NOT cleaning it.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:11 AM
Wednesday, October 03, 2001

There really is something wrong with me, I think

How can I ingest enough caffeine to make an elephant hyper and still wind up exhausted and ready for a nap a half-hour later?

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:53 PM

Opposing viewpoints on the Bill Maher flap

Bryan and Dylan. I'll let them speak for themselves.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:50 PM

A little Wilde to ponder

"While to the claims of charity a man may yield and yet be free, to the claims of conformity no man may yield and remain free at all." - The Soul of Man Under Socialism

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:41 AM

And some more meaningless minutiae

I finally started reading "If Chins Could Kill", and it provided plenty of chuckles before bed.

And I really need a haircut. Nappy? Uh, yeah.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:29 AM

Aimless blathering

You don't mind if I have no direction, but simply let my thoughts just go where they will, do you...?

I found out last night that Friday will be my day to accrue some good karma. I'm sitting at the CSC desk for one of my roomies (which entails literally sitting behind the reception desk while a student therapist works with a client in one of the clinic rooms, in case something comes up. So it's more a time and boredom imposition) and I'm taking John to the airport bright and early (thanks to the new advisory on getting to the airport 3 hours before your flight leaves, he has to be there at 7 AM for his 10 AM flight. Will I be drowsy? You bet.).

I can't get into my blog to read your comments this morning, by the way, which may mean BlogSpot is down yet again, or that MSN just sucks. But if you're expecting a thoughtful response to some comment you may have left for me, you're going to have to be patient.

I watched last night's season premiere of "Buffy" with a mix of cynicism and boredom. I was really wishing it were on tape, so I could simply fastforward through all the slow bits (of which there were plenty) to the good parts. Mostly, it just seemed like slow going (it could easily have been an hour and lost nothing), and the biker demons were as lame a threat as I've seen. Am I off-base and just jaded?

I'm finally listening to Blood or Whiskey?, the cd Dylan burned for me, and it's some pretty nice Irish stuff in that Pogues/Dolomites/Tossers vein.

And John's promising more "Golden Tee" tonight, but we'll see if I feel up for it. I kind of want to just lie down and collapse for a few hours after school.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:22 AM
Tuesday, October 02, 2001

Ugh, ugh, ugh

My tummy still hurts from a too fat burrito. I suppose it has something to do with my ailing body (which just refuses to give in and be totally sick, leaving me just feeling malaise, exhaustion, and body aches), since I just haven't been feeling as hungry lately...

I seem to be getting a lot of strange visitors of late, and all I can say is, don't be shy. I don't demand e-mail (although the intro from Rosemary was nice. It's always cool to know someone actually follows my whining about neural net simulations), but I'm feeling a bit like a bad comedian, with a largely silent crowd.

posted by Skattieboy @ 10:17 PM

Not much to say, really

It's just been one of those days to chew over all the class material and lectures and the odd happenings. Turns out Tom and Rachel played hooky from work and showed up at the coffee shop this morning, just as I was going over there to reload. Then I saw a live bunny on campus and a dead squirrel on the way past my place (and that kind of thing just sticks out for me). I spilled tea all over myself during the clinical review and then just felt so out of it through classes.

I still have to do Stats homework, which shouldn't be too tough. But, mostly, I just want to rest.

Oh, and I'm waiting to hear about my travel funding, but I think it's going to happen.

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:45 PM

Can't blog, eating...

*Chomp**Smack**Slurp*

posted by Skattieboy @ 5:38 PM

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

So I'm not going to do it. I could go on again about how I'm in for a long day (I have my first year review this morning, then my Neural Nets and Ethics classes, then Stats homework), but I really don't feel like whining. I don't know why.

I mean, I finished my long-delayed homework and (even though I'm pretty sure I didn't get everything) I just feel relieved. I'm not even feeling too sick.

So, yeah, I'm not gonna whine. At least not right now.

posted by Skattieboy @ 9:01 AM
Monday, October 01, 2001

Man, do I suckity suck

Today just seemed interminable. I got home, only to realize that I had been a bonehead and had forgotten to photocopy the readings for tomorrow's Ethics class for myself and my roomies. And I feel like hell and I still have to finish writing up that homework.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

At least I got paid today. It looks like I may be able to finance the trip to Yale, if I choose to do so. Then it's just a question of how I get paid back.

Oh, and thanks, Dylan, for the cd. I'll listen to it tonight, and it was an act of selfless generosity. I appreciate it.

posted by Skattieboy @ 6:56 PM

Gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd

I really don't want to start writing up that Neural Nets homework, even though I know it would make me so much more relaxed tonight. I mean, it would be nice to have it done and feel like I understood it all so I could impress someone, but I'm all about procrastination at this very moment.

I know the infection is hitting me, too, since I'm finding a couple pimples in odd places (like the inside of my nose, the back of my ear, on top of my head). My body's fighting (probably because I've been downing copious amounts of vitamin C and green tea), but I have this feeling it's a losing battle.

posted by Skattieboy @ 11:30 AM

Yup, it's morning again

I overcooked my oatmeal into a pretty gooey mess, which I hope is not setting the tone for the day. It promises to be a long one, as I have stats this morning, then labwork, then my last assessment session, then hours of writing up homework. And I didn't sleep all that well last night.

I did manage to finish reading "Box Office Poison" and was mightily impressed. It's a shame it didn't get more recognition from the comics industry, as the plot was intricate and the characters and situations sufficiently well-crafted that it would easily have worked as a novel (and might have even gotten more attention in that medium).

And I have that stupid Mandark laugh stuck in my head.

posted by Skattieboy @ 8:02 AM

Well, that didn't happen

Instead, Tom stopped by for a minute and I just watched some TV and laid there (after taking Dayquil).

I did get around to watching the pilot of "Enterprise" again, and I still enoyed it (but what's up with that stupid theme? Diane Warren?). A few questions, though: (1) Did anybody get that temporal conflict bit?; (2) Didn't the mysterious figure remind anyone of the shadowy Sith Lord?; and (3) If they're not going to follow up on it, didn't the whole gel-rubbing scene just seem awfully gratuitous?

posted by Skattieboy @ 7:59 AM

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